Thoughts About Raising a Daughter

31 07 2011

I’d like to be thoughtful and intentional as I head into motherhood, although realistically I know I can’t plan how this will go. Contemplating her arrival stimulates a lot of thinking in me about what kind of mother I’d like to be. I am so thankful to have many amazing women among my family and friends; with so many wonderful role models including my own loving mother.

I’d like to be a mother who appreciates differences in my daughter from me. I’d like to encourage that she be who she wants to be, and provide her with as much guidance and assistance that she needs and wants. I’d like to encourage and support her in making the healthiest choices possible that make the most sense to her throughout her life.

I want to remember that while I will see my whole life behind me and ahead of me in her lifetime, she will only see her own life ahead of her in my lifetime. I will see her through the filter of what I think women should become, and how I think mothers and daughters should interact. She may or may not agree with my ways using her own unique filter in her life journey. I want to be insightful and appreciative during those times when she chooses her own way.

I want to effectively manage my own expectations of both what she becomes and what our relationship becomes. I will influence these things but ultimately will not control or fully define these things. She will equally shape them in her own beautiful and independent ways all of her life. She may never understand and accept all of the good things about me or all of the reasons for my many faults, and she may experience more of this understanding after my lifetime. I don’t believe I need that understanding from her; it is my job to do that understanding about myself and help give her the tools she needs to understand herself. I want to appreciate this limitation in our relationship, and the impact it will have on our judgment of each other. I know I will be important to her and she will love me forever, she does not need to prove this to me. Only I need to do this for her.

I want to provide her with the strongest most loving parents possible. I appreciate a million ways my husband is different than me. He complements me in so many important ways for our future family. When I am excitable, he is patient. When I am passionate or tempered, he is even-keeled. When I am quick to make decisions, he is thoughtful and conscientious. When I am overly analytical, he is hopeful and faithful. Above all else we love and support each other in every way we can. I will do everything possible to continue this for our family. Through the ups and downs, I want to be insightful and appreciative that our daughter needs both of our strengths in different ways, and at different times. She will have her own special and unique relationship with my husband that is different than mine. He will provide her with the many amazing things I love about him as well as his own faults, and this will impact her in so many unique and important ways.

I know the best I can do is be accepting and flexible in my understanding of these things. I also know I will learn an endless amount of things as a parent and change in many more ways. I am so grateful and excited for the experience of being so important in the development of a new person in this world.


Descriptions of 2011- part 1

21 07 2011

I thought I better start capturing things about the year our baby was born so that she can see this or we can include it in her baby book!


This week (mid-July 2011) there is a raging heat wave across the country. Just what this pregnant momma does NOT need.

In the Maryland area temperatures hit 104 degrees and will stay high through the weekend. All over the country pretty much the same heat is affecting everyone. I think I will look back on pregnancy and remember this heat wave during my 8th month. One funny thing I did was drive to a meeting just across the parking lot at work because it was so hot this week. I felt justified being pregnant and all! Paul is off to Seattle for a training all week...just at the point where I am starting to feel pretty uncomfortable and the heat isn't helping...let's hope the week goes well!

Things that come to mind about 2011 so far...

Events:
January 17th- Paul and I left Florida after watching dolphins in the morning and seeing a double rainbow on the way to the airport...and found out we were pregnant when we got home!
April 29th- Kate Middleton married Prince William in England- with millions of people watching!
May 1st- President Obama and the United States celebrate that Osama Bin Laden was caught and killed.
July 9th- South Sudan successfully becomes it's own country.

Celebrity births: 

Heiress Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner had daughter Arabella Rose

Singer Jewel and Ty Murray had son Kase Townes

Fashionista Victoria and David Beckham had daughter Harper Seven

Actress Kate Hudson and Matthew Bellamy had son Bingham Hawn

Technology:
Many Americans have a smart phone, Ipad, and laptops. Thousands of apps are offered to make life easier on-the-go: banking, online shopping, movies, photo sharing, coupons to favorite restaurants (i.e. Groupon, Living Social), and games. Social networking applications are soaring (i.e. facebook, google +, twitter) as vehicles for people to quickly stay in touch with hundreds of others globally and quickly access current event information around the world. Information and data is now being stored in the "cloud" as a virtual way to store, slowly diminishing the need for individually managed hardware/servers/networks.

American Livelihood:
The economy is bad, unemployment is very high! Some of the reasons may be-
-Overspending on defense and occupying countries such as Afghanistan and Iraq following the War on Terror.
- The downturn of the real estate market in the past five years, shady lending practices by big banks, too much debt taken on by Americans, and the government bank bailout in 2008
-Many efforts have gone into American Recovery efforts, but things remain shaky
- Gas prices have soared  reaching over $4.00 per gallon in the US
-The US has lost many jobs to foreign countries (including manufacturing) over recent years, there are few jobs available here
- The health care spending continues to increase and cost the average American far greater than the rate of inflation
- Some people say we have the worst income and wealth inequality since the 20s


Family and the Beach- 30 Weeks

19 07 2011

This weekend we drove 8 hours south to Myrtle Beach with Paul's sister, her husband Carrie, and our niece Tara. I've been worried that I won't get enough vacation and beach time in before the baby arrives! It was nice to getaway and put our feet in the ocean.

Here is the baby bump at 30 weeks!

Paul's sister Carrie is two weeks ahead of me in pregnancy. It was fun to travel around with two pregnant ladies waddling, two doting fathers-to-be and an adventuresome niece.


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We are very happy and feel so blessed right now! We love each other and our baby very much...